Has Football lost its sense of humour?

Having just experienced the wettest summer for a century, a never ending depth of unemployment and the continuous gloom of austerity, it’s fair to say we could all do with a bit of comic relief in our lives. Everyone has their own personal form of escapism and for many of us, the footballing world offers us a break from the doom and gloom that’s hanging around the UK.

Or at least it should do, anyway. With every aspect of football, from a half-time pie to the petrol it costs to get us to grounds proving so excruciatingly expensive, at the very least, we live in the hope of entertainment.

The hope that even if after a 200mile-round journey that ended in woeful defeat, we’ll still end up laughing at the really quite ridiculous goal celebration we all had to endure. The hope that during a tedious week at work, you’ll still end up spontaneously laughing at the clever retort of a player who’d been receiving stick all game. The general belief that the footballing world will at the very minimum, give us something to smile about.

Call it a penchant for nostalgia, but you simply can’t shake the feeling that football’s sense of humour is currently suffering from the same blues as everyone else. Or worse still, it’s gone missing completely.

Where have all the characters gone, the laughs and the silly haircuts? When was the last time you read a funny story or amusing modern day anecdote in the paper? Football is supposed to offer us all an outlet, an escape from the trappings of modern day life. It appears recently anyway, it’s more part of the gloom, rather than the tonic.

The year of 2012 has seen a variety of knocks for the world of footballing humour. We’ve seen Mario Balotelli denounce the need to smile after scoring goal. In February, we saw Porto threaten to report Manchester City fans for leading chants of ‘You’re not incredible’ to Brazilian striker Hulk.

And perhaps in the most depressing instance of a sense of humour failure, we recently saw Falkirk’s PA announcer suspended after complaints from Rangers fans. His crime? Cheekily denoting the club as ‘Sevco Franchise’ (the name of the company used in the purchase of Rangers’ assets in the wake of liquidation) when reading out the half-time scores.

It might not seem like much, but it’s the little things that often make a big difference in football. In a sport that has quickly evolved into a business, it’s the unique sense of humour that so often adorns football, which gives it a human touch. One that is distinctly lacking in the 21st century.

Even something as basic as a colourful opinion from a footballer, feels like it’s very much in the descent. Footballer’s used to be able to talk to journalists to give tip offs, share stories and have a drink. But now the PR sterilized face of the former and the starving cynicism of the latter, have led to a relatively non existent relationship between the two.

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There’s not much to laugh about even when footballers do manage to get their points across, too. The social phenomenon of Twitter has been credited with bringing footballers closer to supporters. One could only imagine the entertainment the likes of George Best, Rodney Marsh, Paul Gascoigne and even Jimmy Bullard would have provided had they still been playing in today’s world. It’s worth noting that a more refined Marsh can currently be found tweeting from his Florida home.

But now, even if a footballer’s opinion hasn’t been vetted by swathes of public relations staff, it’s not usually much to shout about. Those looking for a colourful opinion will be greeted with a cliché and those searching for something amusing will usually find an uploaded picture of a Nando’s chicken. It’s hardly a gag a minute.

So where has the humour and the laughs gone and who’s to blame? As a nation of such cynics, have we driven away the on pitch jesters?

Well, we certainly haven’t helped cultivate an environment that caters to the footballing maverick. As every single move on the pitch is overanalyzed a hundred times over, so is their activity off the pitch. Footballers are so often targets for the tabloid media and within the cult of celebrity that we currently inhabit, they’re absolute fodder to make it on the front pages for the wrong reasons.

Every comment they make travels faster than the speed of light through social media; one wrong move or risqué comment and before you know it, it’s been retweeted a thousand times over. Ashley Cole would hardly pass as a stand up comedian, but within an hour of delivering his “#BUNCHOF*****’ tweet, it had been regurgitated 17,000 times over. You get the point.

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Even the very game itself, seems to be intent on sucking all the fun out. For quite a while now, a player has been able to throw his jersey off in a moment of pure jubilation. Again, during West Ham United’s recent 3-1 defeat at Arsenal, the Hammers’ Senegalese midfielder Mohamed Diame, was booked for ‘over-celebrating’.

The health and safety executives among us may be giving a very astute nod of the head, after Diame went to celebrate with the Upton Park faithful. But if football can’t bring itself to let players enjoy a debut goal with their own fans, it doesn’t bode particularly well for the game as a whole.

Maybe it’s a view entrenched in nostalgia and one that doesn’t take into account the joys of humour that do currently exist in the game. But is it really asking too much of football to simply have a laugh now and again? They say it’s good for you. And for the beautiful game, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.

Where do you think football’s sense of humour has gone? Let me know on Twitter: follow @samuel_antrobus and tell me where it’s hiding. 

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Long Season Ahead For Dismal Oldham

The jeering at the conclusion of Saturday’s 1-0 loss against Stevenage was not because of the result (well, it was – one point from nine is not the start the fans had wished for). No, the negative, irritated reaction was due to the insipid performance from entire Oldham team

It was bereft of imagination or attacking instinct. It was dull, labourous and lacked an energy that might at some point make the opposition feel slightly uncomfortable. This was a well-oiled Stevenage which still has obvious traces of Graham Westley’s philosophy flowing through it. It is rough, powerful and ready to fight for three points. Ultimately, they were allowed to settle into their usual effective style without many questions being asked.

The single goal loss came from yet another defensive mishap. A long ball aimed simply away from the Stevenage’s penalty area was naively allowed to bounce by young James Tarkowski. The 19-year-old defender was then out-muscled, keeper Alex Cisak raced out and commited a blatant foul inside his area. Penalty awarded. Penalty dispatched.

Last Tuesday night, Athletic were on course for a 1-0 victory against an average Walsall side. However, with 10 minutes remaining club Captain Dean Furman inexplicably attempted a back-pass without realising a Walsall player blocked his path to Cisak. To the home support’s horror, George Bowerman was gifted the opportunity to bury the ball into the net, which he duely did.

Three days previous and Tarkowski was at fault again, bizarrely heading upwards rather than out. MK Dons, who won 2-0, were far from slick yet scored from the resulting corner. For the sake of his self-belief Dickov needs to take him out of the starting 11. Cliff Byrne, with his vast experience and steady, unforgiving nature, makes him a fine candidate to move in from right-back and partner the impressive Jean Yves-M’voto.

So three league games, three defensive calamities. It is very much like last season. Hard work a plenty, lapses of concentration in the dangerous and crucial areas more so. However, move beyond the defence and there are more ills. Take the midfield. With James Wesolowski’s torn hamstring, Dean Furman has a lost his influential partner. The energy was been sapped. There is little imagintion, movement and more worryingly no willingless to find space.

Saturday saw Dickov switch from his usual 4-4-1-1 to a more flat 4-5-1 with the inclusion of Carl Winchester, who formed a midfield three with Furman and Yousuff M’Changama. Despite a congested core, Stevenage were able to use their intelligence to constrict space on the Boundary Park pitch. Ok – so find some, you would say. It didn’t happen. And so Stevenage were able to organise themselves with ease.

It was also evident on Saturday that Robbie Simpson does not suit the lone striker role. Despite being generally ineffective, he did look slightly more threatening after the break when Dickov replaced Winchester with the powerful Matt Smith, allowing Simpson to drop into the hole behind Smith, who was instructed to lead the line and dominate aerially.

Ultimately, the performance as a whole was far from acceptable. To claim just a single point from two winnable home games is a dreadful return. The tempo that was set in the opening half against Sheffield Wednesday in the Capital One Cup has yet to be replicated. In truth it has become laboured, and this against sides such as Walsall, who are tipped to struggle.

If Walsall are supposed to find themselves towards the foot of the table, then Oldham, on this evidence, will not be far from them. Of course, the opening 10 or so games do not require fantastic results. As long as there is promise in the performance and style teams generally excel once they have gelled and formed strong partnerships. Results come eventually with good performances. Oldham might be waiting a while.

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Five ‘season saviours’ to follow Alves to Tottenham

Reports yesterday claimed that Tottenham are plotting an audacious move to beat bitter rivals Arsenal to the signature of Dani Alves. The Brazilian superstar is set to leave Barcelona in January as his contract nears its end, with Spurs ready to splash around £7m to ensure that the white half of north London becomes his new home, rather than the red half.

But even if Daniel Levy can pull off a deal for the veteran right-back there’s still plenty of work to be done at White Hart Lane, with a stuttering start to the season having left the Lilywhites in the bottom half of the table after 11 games. With a top four finish the aim, here are FIVE players who could salvage Spurs’ season.

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CLICK ON MORGAN SCHNEIDERLIN TO REVEAL THE FIVE

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Morgan Schneiderlin

A summer-long pursuit of the Frenchman ended in disappointment as Southampton opted to hold onto their man, but that has not put Spurs off just yet. Reports have suggested that Mauricio Pochettino remains desperate to nab his former star, and despite the Saints’ blistering start to the campaign a January swoop is not out of the question.

Impressive as the man ‘running the midfield’, Tottenham could certainly use the 24-year-old’s influence in the centre of the park, with the likes of Etienne Capoue and Paulinho having struggled to adapt to English football.

Teo Gutierrez

//www.youtube.com/embed/tALvTtg-6EA

A somewhat left-field target, Gutierrez is a player on Spurs’ radar. The River Plate attacker impressed at the World Cup with Colombia over the summer and is believed to be a player the Londoners’ scouting network has been impressed by.

A fiery forward, the 29-year-old has been prolific in Argentina since joining the Buenos Aires side last year, where he is considered to be one of the top flight’s best talents. Most of Gutierrez’s career has been spent in South and Central America, but he did have a short spell in Europe with Trabzonspor in 2010/11.

Patrick Herrmann

//www.youtube.com/embed/XYh2gWWkcDo

A key member of Borussia Monchengladbach’s rise over the course of the past couple of seasons, Herrmann is widely seen as one of the Bundesliga’s most promising wingers. His impressive displays have caught the eye of Pochettino, who is keen to add the German starlet to his ranks.

The 23-year-old has already hit six goals in all competitions this term, demonstrating his ability to drift in from wide positions to support his strikers, which is likely to appeal to ‘Poch’ given that only Harry Kane has been in good form so far this term.

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Jay Rodriguez

Another one of Pochettino’s former charges in the shape of Rodriguez is a January target at White Hart Lane. A serious knee injury has ruled the versatile forward out of action for much of 2014, but a first-team return this winter is expected. Even with his fitness a concern, ‘Poch’ is keen to link up with the England international once again as he plots to add more invention to his side and transfer the work ethic he had on the South Coast over to north London.

Saido Berahino

The Premier League’s top scoring Englishman, Berahino is set to be the subject of big bids in January, despite talk of West Brom attempting to tie him down to a new contract. The 21-year-old’s seven strikes to help the Baggies into a steady midtable slot have been enough to earn the Burundi-born hit-man a first international call-up, with his debut sure to come against either Slovenia or Scotland in the coming week.

Big money will be needed to lure the pacey ace away from the Hawthorns, but he would certainly be an upgrade on Roberto Soldado and Emmanuel Adebayor.

What would a superior Tottenham finish mean for Arsenal?

It’s the end of the English footballing season in May 2005. Arsenal are about to lift their 10th FA Cup with their victory on penalties over Manchester United at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff. The Premier League has narrowly eluded them, with last season’s historic Invincibles side, unable to overcome the Oligarch fuelled power of Jose Mourinho’s Chelsea. But things are rosy for Arsene Wenger’s side.

A second placed finish in the Premier League sets them in good stead for another crack at the title next season and their new 60,000 seater Emirates Stadium, is entering its final phases of construction. And to poignantly add a bit of gloss onto proceedings, they’ve just done the double over their North London rivals Tottenham, who finish a relatively standard 9th in the league.

Indeed, Martin Jol’s side showed some fleeting glimpses of quality in the league, none more so than when they buried four past Arsenal in their infamous 4-5 loss at White Hart Lane, but this was still a side with the likes of Noe Pamarot and Noureddine Naybet starting every week. In many respects, they are light-years behind the red side of North London.

Fast forward to the present day and that rosiness that seemed to come as a perennial bonus with every Arsenal season ticket, simply could not be further away. As we enter the final stages of 2012, supporters don’t need to be slapped round the face with the seven-and-a-half year statistic that is there continued trophy drought. Because there is potentially something far more depressingly poignant sitting on the horizon.

It is of course the age-old threat that’s never been fulfilled from their hated rivals up the road in Haringey. Arsenal fans have heard it all before when it’s come to the men from Tottenham Hotspur and their designs on finishing above them in the league. Each time the Gunners have had their backs against the wall, the old cockerel has choked at the vital moments. Be it a final day, lasagna based bottle job, or self-destruction of a 10 point lead, Spurs have continuously failed to outdo their North London rivals.

But where as once the notion of Spurs bettering Arsenal in the league was one of near absurdity – indeed, it’s not happened since 1995 – today, the reality is that it’s now become a very distinct possibility.

The rivalry between both Spurs and Arsenal has been given a real shot in the arm in recent years, given the Lilywhites growth in prominence. Where as for much of Arsene Wenger’s reign in North London, Tottenham have resembled little more than plucky underdogs, their recent renaissance under Harry Redknapp has given the fixture more meaning than it every has in recent years.

And it offers an interesting yardstick for the plight of Arsenal over the last few years. The Gunners have continued to taste Champions League football every season. Title challenges have continued to remain on the cards for Arsene Wenger’s men, despite them never quite being able to see it out through the course of the season. But as their quest for a trophy continues, the focus has always been on the fluctuating gap between themselves and the Manchester United’s and Chelsea’s of this world. Never what’s been going on behind them.

Because if – and it remains a massive if – Andre Villas-Boas’ side manage to finish above Arsenal in the league this season, it perhaps represents so much more than a power shift in the merciless exchanges between the two sets of fans.

The two ways of looking it are of course wither Tottenham have progressed way beyond what many would perceive to be their projected means. The other, that Arsenal have in fact regressed, as they’ve reclined onto a similar plateau of ambition to the men from White Hart Lane.

And it’s here in which, depending on your viewpoint, you can gauge the seriousness of what a superior Spurs finish to Arsenal in the league, may represent. Let’s be under no illusions here in that Tottenham have hardly fluked their way into challenging for Champions League qualification.  Even since the mediocrity that lingered in the mid nineties. Spurs have continued to invest heavily in their squad, more often than not, to greater extents than Arsenal.

Some may suggest that the club have simply been more wise and intelligent in that spending. That may be so, but has it really just been a bit of common sense and a spot of financial rationality that has seen them bridge the gap?

Clubs shouldn’t spend for the sake of it and Arsene Wenger’s legacy is the biggest testament to that in recent memory. But in that seven-year gap since Arsenal last won a trophy, they have seen the financial gulf between themselves and their North London rivals rise almost beyond measure.

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For the last available accounts, the Gunners’ net income dwarfed Spurs’ by near on £92million. The cash cow that is the Emirates Stadium makes well over double the amount of matchday income that White Hart Lane is capable. While they, as every team does, have debts to structure, Arsenal are in a different financial post code to Tottenham Hotspur.

But while that gulf of fiscal health has increased between the two clubs, the gap of competitiveness has shrunk. And however you wish to frame that, it produces some awkward questions for the hierarchy in the red half of North London.

Tottenham’s upturn in fortunes was perhaps an inevitability. All clubs go through periods of success, regression and dormant stages of mediocrity. But given the off pitch progress Arsenal have made, that gap they once held over there great rivals when they last won a trophy, simply should’t have been shredded to the point it is today. How they go about regaining it, is a question that certainly produces some difficult answers.

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Three reasons why Chelsea will still win the league

Chelsea are still sitting pretty at the top of the table, but boss Jose Mourinho is continuing to claim Manchester City are the title favourites.

They may have come unstuck at Villa Park this evening, but the Blues are still six points clear at the top of the table and have a great chance of taking the trophy back to Stamford Bridge.

Mourinho claims that City’s three games in hand are their saviour, but with the Citizens form of late it would be a shock if they went on to win the rest of their games this season with the Manchester derby next weekend.

Here is why we think Chelsea have to be considered the clear title favourites.

Fixture list

Mourinho has been banging on about Manchester City’s games in hand, but has he had a look at Chelsea’s fixture list?

To say it is kind would be an understatement.

Tough games at home Arsenal and away at Liverpool aside; the Blues are facing solely relegation battling teams. Of course, you can’t take games for granted but Chelsea should not drop too many points from now until the end of the season.

Ability to win when not playing well

When Manchester City don’t play well they don’t win. That is just the way it is.

Chelsea and Mourinho have a canny ability to grind out a 1-0 win when they need it most, when they have ten men on the pitch that is!

It may not be the most stylish, but at times it is unbelievably effective especially at Stamford Bridge.

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Experience

The majority of that Chelsea side, plus Mourinho, has been there and done it in the Premier League.

While City won the title more recently, Chelsea still have the core that has been together for a while and with the likes of John Terry, Petr Cech, Branislav Ivanovic and Frank Lampard all being vastly experienced, that should help.

Kannemann rebate críticas ao elenco do Grêmio

MatériaMais Notícias

Na última terça-feira, o Grêmio sofreu um grande baque ao ser derrotado pelo Libertad dentro de casa. O resultado deixou o Tricolor na lanterna da chave da Libertadores e levantou inúmeras suspeitas em relação a qualidade do elenco.

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O zagueiro Kannemann, titular absoluto do sistema defensivo de Renato Gaúcho, pede um equilíbrio do elenco para evitar dúvidas em relação a qualidade do grupo gremista.

‘Estamos em uma posição muito boa no Gaúchão, vários gols a favor e apenas um contra. Foram só vitórias e empates. Na Libertadores não tivemos esta sorte. Mas estamos tranquilos. Não somos os melhores por estarmos em primeiro no Gaúcho nem os piores por sermos lanterna do grupo na Libertadores’, afirmou.

Com 23 pontos no Gauchão, o Grêmio encara o Internacional no próximo domingo e precisa de um simples empate para garantir a liderança da fase de classificação do estadual.

Moeen ton frustrates Lancashire

Division Two promotion hopefuls Lancashire were frustrated by a fine century from Worcestershire’s Moeen Ali at New Road.

22-Aug-2013
ScorecardMoeen Ali impressed last week for England Lions•Getty Images

Division Two promotion hopefuls Lancashire were frustrated by a fine century from Worcestershire’s Moeen Ali at New Road. Moeen hit 104 to help lift his side to 287 following a spirited fightback by the league leaders, who were boosted by a four-wicket haul by paceman Kyle Hogg.At the end of the opening day Lancashire’s opening pair of Glen Chapple and Luis Reece safely negotiated a maiden over from Alan Richardson before proceedings were brought to a close.Moeen’s eye-catching innings followed his brilliant 114 earlier in the week in a Yorkshire Bank 40 Group A match against his former county Warwickshire at Edgbaston. He also made an impression last week by scoring 61 for England Lions in a two-day game against the Australians at Northampton.Lancashire also found the 26-year-old difficult to dislodge in their opening Championship match of the campaign when he made 78 in a rain-hit draw against Worcestershire at Emirates Old Trafford.Moeen, whose knock today hoisted him well past the 1,000-run mark in the Championship this summer, reached three figures off 194 balls with 13 fours. It was the 11th first-class century of his career and his third in the Championship this term.Worcestershire made 38 in 13 overs before their opening pair were split up by seamer Tom Smith’s third delivery which accounted for Daryl Mitchell, whose outside edge was snapped up in the slips by Andrea Agathangelou. Mitchell’s dismissal for 22, following a string of impressive limited-overs scores, signalled the start of a half-century partnership between his fellow opener Matt Pardoe and Moeen.They put on 54 in 17 overs before the penultimate delivery before lunch, bowled by left-arm medium-pacer Reece, had Pardoe caught behind for 35 by Gareth Cross to leave the hosts 92 for 2 off 30 overs at the breakThilan Samaraweera struggled to get into his stride and suffered a soft dismissal when, after leaving alone a Hogg delivery, ambled out of his ground to allow the alert Cross to stump him for 6 off 32 balls. His careless departure failed to unsettle Moeen who instantly found a reliable partner in teenager Tom Fell. They joined forces to complete a half-century stand before the taking their side to 196 for three off 64 overs at tea.They went on to add 91 in 29 overs before another slice of carelessness resulted in Fell being removed for 43 when he turned Arron Lilley to square leg and wandered out of his ground to enable Reece to run him out with a smart throw in to Cross. Next ball Ross Whiteley, making his Championship debut for Worcestershire, was bowled by Lilley before the visitors continued their fightback by ousting Joe Leach.Moeen finally fell during the first over with the new ball when he nicked Hogg to Cross after facing 205 balls. Jack Shantry and Ben Cox both fell cheaply as Worcestershire lost six wickets for 37 runs in 15 overs before Richardson and Graeme Cessford topped up the home side’s tally with an entertaining last-wicket stand worth 35.

Leeds losing out on Rhian Brewster could be a blessing in disguise

Despite being just hours away from the January transfer window opening, we know very little about who Leeds United will be going after next month.

Of course, there have been whispers about players such as Sam Cosgrove, Che Adams and Glen Kamara, but the only man who has been labelled as a ‘definite target’ is Rhian Brewster.

However, recent reports suggest Leeds aren’t looking likely to land the Liverpool youngster at this point after The Athletic suggested that he’s in talks with Swansea City over a loan move to Wales.

It’s a bit disheartening to hear that the only ‘definite target’ you know about might be headed elsewhere, but this could actually be a blessing in disguise.

Brewster is a talented player, there’s no denying that. The very fact he’s contributed to 23 goals in 28 appearances for Liverpool’s U23s sums that up.

That being said, he’s only ever played two senior matches, and with Leeds battling it out at the top of the Championship, he’s not exactly the type of player you’d want to come in for that scenario.

Brewster is simply untested at senior level, and he would be coming into such a high-pressure situation where pretty much everyone at the club won’t accept anything other than promotion.

Swansea are a side that’s in a position where they’re able to gamble as they’re knocking on the door of the playoffs, knowing that one good roll of the dice could see them seal a top-six spot.

With one target out the way, Leeds can focus their efforts in securing someone more experienced and with better know-how of the division.

In other news, Leeds fans have been slamming one of their players.

الزمالك يحول مقدم تعاقد لوبيسكا للاستمرار مع فريق الطائرة

كشف مصدر بنادي الزمالك أن الإدارة حولت مقدم تعاقد المحترفة البرازيلية ميلكا لوبيسكا، للاستمرار ضمن صفوف الفريق الأول لسيدات كرة الطائرة.

وقال المصدر في تصريحات خاصة لـ”بطولات”: “تم تحويل مقدم تعاقد اللاعبة البرازيلية ميلكا لوبيسكا، أمس الإثنين”.

طالع أيضًا | فيفا يُخطر اتحاد الكرة بإيقاف القيد لـ الزمالك بسبب شيكابالا

وتابع: “الزمالك حول المبلغ للمحترفة البرازيلية عن طريق الاتحاد المصري لكرة الطائرة”.

وأوضح: “اتحاد الطائرة أرسل إلى ميلكا خطابًا يفيد بدفع الزمالك مقدم التعاقد، والمبلغ سيصل حسابها خلال ساعات”.

واختتم: “اللاعبة سوف تستمر في نادي الزمالك خلال الموسم المقبل، حفاظًا على قوام الفريق”.

وكانت ميلكا انضمت لنادي الزمالك في صفقة انتقال مجانية، الصيف الماضي، وحققت مع الفريق لقب كأس مصر وبطولة إفريقيا.

إنتر ميامي يرغب في ضم لاعب ريال مدريد السابق لمزاملة ميسي

كشفت تقارير صحفية إسبانية، أن هناك مفاوضات بين نادي إنتر ميامي الأمريكي والبلجيكي إيدين هازارد، لاعب ريال مدريد السابق.

إيدين هازارد فسخ عقده مع ريال مدريد، وأصبح اللاعب البلجيكي حرًا، ولكن حتى الآن لم يستقر على وجهته المقبلة، بعدما صال وجال في تشيلسي، ولم يتمكن من إثبات نفسه في النادي الإسباني.

طالع أيضًا.. تقارير: هازارد يتراجع عن فكرة الاعتزال ويحدد وجهته المقبلة بعد مغادرة ريال مدريد

إذاعة “ريليفو” الإسبانية، أكدت أن إنتر ميامي تواصل مع اللاعب ووكيله من أجل ضمه إلى الفريق بعد التعاقد مع ليونيل ميسي وسيرجيو بوسكيتس.

ويريد النادي الأمريكي جلب العديد من النجوم الذين كان لهم تاريخ كبير في أوروبا، من أجل لفت الأنظار أكثر لإنتر ميامي، وذلك بعد صفقة ليونيل ميسي القياسية.

هازارد حتى الآن لم يحسم قراره، ولا يزال صاحب الـ32 عامًا، لاعبًا حرًا، رغم عروض من الدوري البلجيكي لضمه، وكذلك في الدوري السعودي.

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